Mårten Larsson is one of the richest bloodsuckers ever, but his unlife isn’t exactly a flight in the park. There are some things money can’t buy — like an instruction manual on what to do when the vampire queen quits and leaves you in charge of Europe. Suddenly Mårten has to juggle politics, his royal wardrobe, and this newfangled thing called “e-mail.” And his German still sucks.
But hey, Mårten can handle it. After all, he (sort of) survived World War I, being married to two voraciously horny vampires (at the same time), and life as a sniper taking out the most dangerous vamps in history. A little responsibility should be no problem… right?
[three][quote2]“Hamlet is a deadly vampire who loves to kill. He doesn’t go after humans just because they’re handy. He hunts until he finds somebody he thinks needs to be hunted. His idea of sport is to put himself in a situation where he’s attacked by gangs of skinheads. He attacks the attackers, disassembling them piece by piece, and decorates the Alps with strands of homophobes. Thug kidney here. Homophobic spleen over there. I’ve seen him do it, singing “forget your troubles, c’mon, get happy” as he tosses fingers and eyeballs around the mountains, usually with his own little finger daintily pointing outward. He once carried a ruffian’s remains into the Alps, pulling off body parts as he repeated, ‘He loves me; he loves me not.’
That part made me laugh out loud.. and my dog is looking at me funny now.”
a reader in Holland